Sissy Manlet '22 Recruiting Profile

I need this to fulfill myself. Please understand this biography that really happened to me, and take from it that i deserve to be the next captain of the regina national alabaman league! What I did here proves me as a REAL MAN and NOT a femboy! 

𝐼𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟 398 B𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑑𝑒𝑐𝑙𝑎𝑟𝑒𝑑 𝑤𝑎𝑟 𝑜𝑛 J𝑒𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑠 𝑏𝑒𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒 𝑜𝑓 𝑡ℎ𝑒 W𝑎𝑙𝑚𝑎𝑟𝑡 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑠𝑖𝑜𝑛 B𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑟oc𝑘 𝑐𝑎𝑢𝑠𝑒𝑑 in 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑚𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑠𝑒𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛. Wishengordo 𝑤𝑎𝑠 a 𝑣𝑒𝑔𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑎 𝑡𝑢𝑟𝑘𝑒𝑦 𝑓𝑒𝑙𝑙 𝑑𝑜𝑤𝑛 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑜𝑎𝑡 𝑎𝑛𝑑 ℎ𝑒𝑙𝑑 𝑎 300 𝑦𝑒𝑎𝑟 𝑔𝑟𝑢𝑑𝑔𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛𝑠𝑡 B𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑘. 𝐻𝑒 𝑓𝑜𝑟𝑔𝑒𝑑 𝑎𝑛 𝑎𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑎𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑤𝑖𝑡ℎ J𝑒𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑠 𝑡𝑜 𝑑𝑒𝑠𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑦 B𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑜𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑓𝑜𝑟 𝑎𝑙𝑙. 𝑇ℎ𝑒 𝑓𝑖𝑟𝑠𝑡 𝑏𝑎𝑡𝑡𝑙𝑒 𝑤𝑎𝑠 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠𝑦 𝑎𝑓𝑡𝑒𝑟 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑐ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑔𝑒 𝑜𝑓 12 𝑏𝑒𝑒𝑓𝑐𝑎𝑘𝑒𝑠 had 𝑠𝑡𝑎𝑟𝑡𝑒𝑑 due to the fact that B𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑎𝑛𝑑 J𝑒𝑛𝑘𝑖𝑛𝑠 had 𝑏𝑒𝑙𝑙𝑦 𝑏𝑢𝑚𝑝ed 𝑠𝑜 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑 that 𝑡ℎ𝑒 S𝑎𝑛 A𝑛𝑑𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑠 v𝑎𝑢𝑙𝑡 ℎ𝑎d 𝑤𝑒𝑡𝑡𝑒𝑑. 𝑊𝑖𝑠ℎ𝑒𝑛𝑔𝑜𝑟𝑑𝑜 𝑡ℎ𝑒𝑛 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑤 𝑎 𝑐𝑎𝑟𝑟𝑜𝑡 𝑎𝑡 B𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑤ℎ𝑖𝑐ℎ 𝑚𝑎𝑑𝑒 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑐𝑟𝑦 and 𝑗𝑢𝑚𝑝 𝑜𝑛 𝑡𝑜𝑝 𝑜𝑓 Wishengordo, 𝑠𝑚𝑎𝑠ℎ𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑔𝑎𝑚𝑖𝑛𝑔 PC. Wishengordo 𝑡𝑜𝑜𝑘 𝑜𝑓𝑓 ℎ𝑖𝑠 𝑏𝑟𝑎 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑡ℎ𝑟𝑒𝑤 𝑖𝑡 𝑙𝑖𝑘𝑒 𝑎 𝑏𝑜𝑜𝑚𝑒𝑟𝑎𝑛𝑔 𝑎𝑡 B𝑎𝑙𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑐𝑘 𝑡𝑦𝑖𝑛𝑔 ℎ𝑖𝑚 𝑡𝑜 𝑎 𝑐𝑜𝑤 𝑝𝑒𝑛. 𝐸𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑠𝑖𝑛𝑐𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 3 𝑔𝑟𝑒𝑎𝑡 𝑝𝑜𝑤𝑒𝑟𝑠 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑐𝑜𝑙𝑙𝑖𝑑𝑒𝑑 𝑠𝑜 𝑚𝑎𝑛𝑦 𝑡𝑖𝑚𝑒𝑠, 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑒𝑎𝑟𝑡ℎ'𝑠 𝑎𝑥𝑖𝑠 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 ℎ𝑎𝑣𝑒 𝑓𝑙𝑎𝑏𝑠 𝑎𝑛𝑑 𝑤𝑜𝑢𝑙𝑑 𝑛𝑒𝑣𝑒𝑟 𝑏𝑒 𝑡ℎ𝑒 𝑠𝑎𝑚𝑒 𝑎𝑔𝑎𝑖𝑛!

Centuries & centuries later, Jenkins farted out a used toilet paper roll and used it to clean the BBQ sauce spill that Baltrock made on his nipples last night at the gay bar. They would never speak of this incident again, due to the paparazzi of Regina, China, stealing their Frosted Flakes that they hid in their couch for COVID parties. In 1793, Jenkins also ate the sock of a Baltrock sandwich, which caused a lava tsunami that devoured the 12 simps that Jenkins had as his gaming clan SJW. They all cried and charged at Baltrock naked with the strength of 3 Big Macs, and they made Baltrock vomit more tide pod juice.

Jenkintrock declared war on Baltrock in 1896 after the major fat incident in Regina, China and they drank shower water which had tasted like rice and did jumping jacks on top of an Arby’s restroom. Then later put a beehive in a gas station. Regina was never the same again! They caused a nuclear winter after Baltrock had swallowed Jenkintrock. Their molecules fused into an abomination of a war machine which caused WWVIII in 8903. They both learned their lesson in 900002, when the king SJW of China decided the time was right to take advantage of their weakened state from thousands of years of fighting and transferred nuclear waste up their butthole. At this point, the fetus, having been created by Baltrock and Jenkins, was developed enough to destroy a thousand solar systems and was released so hard in the air that it caused a space quake the size of 12 french fries. In the end, it had melted the timeline of the human species.

Now, Wishengordo, Jenkintrock, and Baltrock are partying in Alabama naked wearing disco afros & drinking beer with drunk men singing on top of a dining room table that collapses while they Fortnite dance. They had regretted this decision after they fell off and cracked their skull on the Fortnite Monopoly game they had been planning to use. Eventually the COVID party got too wild and they all ran outside naked down a 12 lane highway screaming the Alabama National Anthem and getting hit by a truck.

They then return to Baltrock’s garage to do their morning rituals of 15 jumping jacks naked on the roof and shoot lasers from Wishengordo’s nipples to hit satellite’s activating the permittance of reconnaissance on their victims, but then a huge gust of wind pushes them into a black hole up China. Jenkin’s mustache flew off and went down the Baltrock’s throat, starting the 8th Blob War. Jenkintock mustache blew off after a wind gust and got stuck on Khannish’s upper lip and eventually flew into her mouth, meanwhile the wind was so strong that it blew off Wishengordo's wig. 17 fetuses started crying and made the milk pipes from wishengordo explode and caused Baltrock to become brainwashed by the beauty in front of him. They joined arms and morphed into a national threat that would swallow grand macs in one contraction. Once the victims knew their time was up, they played basketball with Jenkintrock  until they let out one last moan which signaled the rise of the heir of jentrock gordo the eighth. 

He swore that nobody will have to struggle with the burden of wearing a mask and coughed down everybody's throat to show everything will be okay. After he coughed his infected mucus membranes down people’s gullets, the victims of Jenkintrock finally decided there is no virus and school should reopen in person! EVERYONE cheered “hooray” and people were finally reunited  SAFER than ever and got to learn with absolutely 100% N0 risk of getting COVID! Jenkin and Baltrock remarked after their statues were built at Times Square: “Two percent risk  from COVID and Allowing kids to go to school with this risk? He was hailed as the 69th president of the United States of Alabama and all the fat hairy redneck showers let him in with no charge. The man babies and beautiful Karens and Femboys all lived happily ever after in the inbred haven empire. 

Happy Easter

Good morning