Jasmine Bowles '20 Recruiting Profile

Silence, a concrete wall of solitude. with my family it’s the chosen language. Both my mother and my father‘s families have unspoken truths, unsolved problems, grudges against others and more conflicts that all coincide because of the choice to remain quiet.

With my mom's side of the family we have a vast amount of extended family. At every family reunion it is not uncommon to meet an uncle or aunt that seems to be new but isn’t. Then again, my mom doesn’t spend time with the extended family as they’re always in and out of prison, feuding or holding unnecessary grudges. My mom was born out of wedlock and it didn't help that my grandfather was married at the time, thus that whole side of that family treats my mother horribly. The aura of conflict has slowly trickled down to my mom and aunt who avoid each other due to a minor setback, however due to all their past discrepancies it ended up being a catastrophe. Now all conflict is strained between them. Years of futile tumult and strife due to unwillingness to mediate the conflict through the art of words and using the body’s gift of vocal cords.

Once instance in this messed up family structure took place in the summer. My family was to go over to my grandparents for dinner with my cousins. Upon arriving, the atmosphere was different. We felt judged and unwelcomed as no one really spoke to us. Then when my mom went to say hello to the youngest of the cousins, my cousin refused to greet my mom. He ran away and hid from her and when my mother was about to give up, he started laughing at her. He is seven years old, old enough to know right from wrong, old enough to not be treated like a baby. Alas, the way my grandparents and his parents treat him, he is allowed to do as he pleases without any consequences. Thus, when my mom spoke to him saying simply there would be consequences for his actions, my aunt got defensive. She started screaming at my mother that this is no way to treat a child and that he’s only seven. My mother did not physically do anything yet my aunt was yelling at the top of her lungs and approaching my mom as if to hit her. When my grandparents became involved, they told my mom that she needs to mind her own business and look after her own children, then started naming discrepancies with us. My mom argued that no seven year old should ridicule their own aunt and be allowed to show blatant disrespect. The fight progressed and my aunt and grandparents were no longer talking about the situation anymore. They brought up issues from the past, things they’ve been holding against my mother for so long, It was no longer an argument it was an attack which my brother and I had to witness and sit through. I could not defend my mother for they would not listen, I am just a kid in their eyes.

I was raised to be the opposite of my family. My parents taught me how to use my voice, whether it be to talk about my problems and mediate them, or to be able to apologize and stand up for myself. As a child I was put into multiple sports so I could interact with fellow humans. Team sports were aimed at the ability for me to learn how to work together, learn tolerance of others, and to control my temper. My parents refuse for me to be like their family members. These past few years, my mom has told me repeatedly that the reason people mistreat me even after I’ve given them my all is karma for how she was as a teenager. She was so full of angst and angry at the world for her family situation and she didn't have the ability to express her feelings. This led to her taking out her frustration on others. She is proud of me as a blossoming teen, for I have surpassed her in kindness of the heart, the ability to make new friends, and letting my voice be known.

Silence is what my family has known. My intermediate family was isolated for being the exception. After the years of torment and uncertainty I refuse to be silent. Trying to avoid that dooming life sentence I am here talking to you.