Loveah Lodge '21 Recruiting Profile

Imagine getting home after a long soccer game or which ever sport your playing at the time and finding your mother thinking you were plotting against her. She was writing on the walls, assigning my siblings and I to different “teams”.  My youngest brother under a team that said, “Corporate” and my sister was under the “Blue” team. The “Blood Moon Red” team had my name under it, along with people I had no relation to. Throughout  my sophomore year, for months on end, my sister and I would come home and be accused of being in contact with the government. My mom was so paranoid she began thinking that the fire alarms were listening to us. We weren’t even allowed to speak out loud and she would communicate with us through random pages in a spiral notebook.

 The mom we once knew was gone and was replaced with somebody completely different. She was constantly asking who I was in contact with and if I was telling “them” to go after her. I’d just laugh it off and tell her the same thing over and over again, “no one, mom,” but she would never believe me. Although the accusation from my mom  hurt and caused me to feel diminished or annoyed, I couldn’t just give up on my mom or myself. I had to fight to get through this. 

  Eventually, things got so bad that my sister called a social worker from Child Protective Services and got in contact with a lawyer. They didn't do anything except refer   us to a family therapist. It felt like they were basically saying “here, fix your own problems.” We said our mom needed help, but they would not listen. It was eye opening to see firsthand  how the system can fail families dealing with mental illness. Eventually, I had to take a break from it all and left home for about two weeks just to clear my mind. This wasn't me giving up; just me recovering mentally and physically. I was balancing my family life, school, and sports on a platter, all while holding up the world. 

 Going through this has made me grow tremendously as a person. The scars are still there, they cut deep and are a huge part of me. I would be lying if I said it was not hard to push away all of the stresses and worries this situation put on me, but this experience made me more responsible, strong, and independent. My hardships have helped me learn to figure out how to do things on my own. After college I plan to take what I’ve learned and bring it back to my community by joining a something similar to upward bound or LGBTQ communities in need. that specializes in helping children and teenagers succeed even though their situations are extremely difficult. I want to be the one to give reassurance to anybody who’s going through hard times and provide them with the necessary tools to overcome their obstacles.